Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Why?

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So I thought I was going to have to change the title of my blog from "A Family of Ten" to "A Family of Twelve". There are two incredible little boys that our family has been praying for since this summer, and for awhile we really believed that they were going to be our brothers. We started to move forward with the adoption process and even filled out the first round of paperwork, despite knowing that were going to need a miracle in the financial department. Unfortunately, money is a very real part of adoption and a major source of stress for many adoptive families. However, the money has always come through for us in the past...
We operate on faith and have seen some seriously miraculous things happen to help us reach each of my brothers and sisters.

But for some reason, we have not managed to come up with the finances for these two boys. It is a terrible feeling to be convinced that two specific children are meant to be in your family, yet be completely powerless in finding the means to bring them home. On Christmas Day we were especially missing "our boys"....

It's not that we feel like we don't have "enough" kids in our house. It's just that we were (are) ready to love two more! Aaron prayed so hard that his "brothers" would hurry up and come home. Tekle even offered to send them his family book. For those of you who don't know, a 'family book' is a photo album you send to adopted kids that introduces them to their new family. Tekle's family book was incredibley special to him. The day my mom and I met Tekle at the care center in Ethiopia, one of the first things he did was run and grab his family book to show us. He was able to identify all of his new siblings by name and had clearly spent a lot of time looking at all of our pictures. He carried that book with him everywhere--it was basically his security blanket. So it meant a lot when he offered to send it to his new "brothers". At the same time, he looked relieved when I told him that he could keep his and we would make them their own family books. I was so looking forward to doing that...I had the perfect pictures in mind, and had already started to figure out which Amharic labels I would use. I was so excited! So when the money just never came, I began to feel really discouraged. Our whole house seemed to take a blow. My mom asked Lacy how she would feel if we didn't adopt T and A, and Lacy responded "Well, I would probably be ok, but I think God would be sad". My Mom asked her why and she said "Did you know that 18,000 children die every day from hunger?" Then my mom asked her where she learned that, and she said she learned it when she went to Feed My Starving Children with Dinomights last week.

It's not like we are trying to save the world or anything--I don't think that should ever be the sole reason for adopting a child. If that's the case you should give money to your favorite non-profit instead! We really, truly, felt that they were "our" brothers. My Mom was seriously aching for these boys and had (has) a genuine desire to be their mommy, and do all the things mommies are supposed to do. She was ready to tuck two more safely into bed at night...


The only thing I can ask at this point is 'why'? Why does adoption have to be so expensive? We have enough money to feed/clothe/ and provide for two more kids once they are home, it's just the adoption fees that we can't handle. I wonder if maybe it just wasn't God's will for these boys to be in our family? If that's the case, we will have to humbly accept it I guess. Although sometimes that seems like an over-simplified explanation. Maybe it is His will but because we live in a broken world, His will isn't happening. God often works through other people, so maybe someone wasn't listening? Maybe the system needs to be changed. Or maybe, I've given up too fast and sometime tomorrow before my Mom officially tells our agency that we can not do it, a MIRACLE will happen!!!

Praying, praying, praying for a MIRACLE!

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Kels,

I am so sorry to hear this - I have been praying ever since your Mom told me about them at church.

I am right there with you, wondering why adoptions have to be so darned expensive. I understand that for the safety of the child, the parents and family they are going to should be "under a microscope" (for lack of better term), to make sure that they would be a good fit and would take care of the kids. The parents should have thorough background checks, etc...but WHY the HUGE $$$?
I will continue to lift your family and those 2 precious boys up in prayer.
~Bobbi

Anonymous said...

P.S. I believe in miracles :o)

momteacherfriend said...

You have such a sweetheart.
Praying for a miracle.

Scarlett_333 said...

Hi Kelsey... I am so sorry to hear about this. Is there any possibility of trying to raise funds? I know lots of people could pitch in and help... I have a blog fundraiser and each month I pick a charity of the month to donate money to... I would definitely spotlight you guys for a month to help out! I know that wouldn't be enough obviously, but I'm sure lots of people would pitch in!
I hope this works out,
Nikki

Mandy said...

I just started reading your blog recently...I'm a lurker. I will be praying for you and your family for a miracle to happen! I agree the fees are so expensive but just from reading other blogs about adoption know that amazing things can (and do) happen in the 11th hour!

Amy said...

First of all I want to say WOW. You are amazing- I just stumbled across your blog and am AMAZED that at your age you are so passionate about adoption and know and understand more than most adults ever will. Your parents must be extremely proud of you and your beautiful siblings. We too are an adoptive family hoping to adopt again. I'll be praying for you guys. Don't give up- sometimes God just works in ways we could never imagine. Have you guys applied for grants? Amy

KelseyChristine said...

Thank you all so much for the encouragement/support!

Nikki and Amy,

Unfortunately my mom made "the call" already, so it looks like a done deal. We were able to get about $11,000 in grants and donations, but still needed another $10,000 and we just ran out of resources. Thankfully another family is interested in adopting T & A so hopefully they won't be in the orphanage for too much longer. It's sad news, but we are praying that they get placed with an amazing family.

Thanks again for all the kind comments everyone!

Scarlett_333 said...

Hey Kelsey- I gave you an award on my blog (posted today- jan 19)

Nikki